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LOST IN SPACE-A Day At The Zoo, Two Weeks In Space


Chase - Posted on 31 October 2009

A DAY AT THE ZOO

Writer: Jackson Gillis

Dir: Irving Moore

Music: Alexander Courage

 

TEASER

Will hits a ball against the side of the Jupiter II which is on a planet of rocks with orange tumbleweeds, brown rocks, and wide open spaces. Maureen comes out of the ship and asks why he's here, "Stop that dear."   He stops banging the ball against the ship. Dr. Smith is asleep. Will tells her he cannot sleep in the day like Dr. Smith. It is almost time for lunch and they go back up to the ship's control room but before they get inside there is thunder and a burst. It gets dark. There is nothing in the sky, no asteroid or a spaceship. Maureen asks Will to take her to Dr. Smith and he throws the ball into the control room. Dr. Smith is asleep on a rock on a sleeping bag. Two hours ago, Maureen asked him to send the Robot out to help Don and the girls with their plant and mineral specimens. The Robot was to carry the heavier specimens. Robot stands there, "I have received no orders."  Smith calls him a tattletale. Maureen chides Smith and tells him, "You'd better hurry."  Smith tells Robot, "Just you wait!"  Judy and Penny split up. Judy finds Don but there is a thunder blast. Don thinks it was too close to be an eclipse when Judy asks if it was an eclipse. Don tells her, "I think we'd better get back to the spaceship."  Penny finds a daffodil like Earth has but on closer inspection finds it is made of paper--a fake. A caveboy in a fur lined one piece, one shoulder bare, comes running, moaning and yelling at her. He is blond and smooth skinned. He seems to be trying to get her to go one way, away from the area. Penny asks, "You want me to go that way?"  He tries to pull her another way, away from the way she wants to run. "No, I didn't do anything and I'll just go back the way I came!"  Penny doesn't listen to him and runs the wrong way--screams as a net scoops her up and hangs. The caveboy is named Oggo. A creature's head pops up from behind a rock--it has a red devilish face with long springs for hair extensions. It sends Oggo away with a gruff male voice. It comes at Penny and tells her she is to be part of his exhibition. When she asks what that is, it tells her she is to be part of his zoo, "I trapped you for my zoo."  Penny looks horrified, "Zoo?"

 

7-6-5-4-3-2-1-

 

ACT ONE       

Near a blue looking rock and a dried tree with weeds on it, Judy and Don search. New music. We then see the titles. Penny calls, "Judy help!"  Penny won't do what the monster wants until he answers her questions about his zoo. He threatens to destroy her friends who are calling her until she closes her eyes. The thing touches a box device worn around his neck and the net and Penny vanish. He laughs and jumps up and down. In the darkness, Penny opens her eyes. The alien man appears and takes off the head---a silly mask. He is humanoid it seems. He tells her he has trapped other people from Earth but used to exhibit Martians. He lights up a cell for Penny to see inside. In it is a knight in armor from the Middle Ages of Earth. The Knight is called Mort and he sharpens his axe. He also shows her Whistler's Mother, an old woman in another cell in her rocking chair. Penny calls to her but the man, Mister Farnum, tells her the woman is hard of hearing. She came from the 19th century. Time and space mean nothing to him, he claims. He has specimens from all over the ages of human development. He tells her his name. Penny says, "I'm sorry but I'm not very pleased to meet you."  They walk in almost complete darkness all around them. He takes her to an empty cell which he lights up with his new and different control panel box. He tells her there will be no more struggling for survival. Inside is an old fashioned record player, a bed, toy tigers and dolls, stuffed animals like a lion, a dog. There is a lamp and a night stand. The record player is what Penny says is from way back in GRANDMOTHER'S TIME. Farnum breaks the record, angry he got it wrong. Penny asks how he did all of this and tries to distract him as Oggo sneaks around. In here there are no germs and pure air. She will live for hundreds of years here. Farnum grabs Oggo whom he claims came from a prehistoric jungle. Penny gasps, "Oh please don't hurt him!"  Farnum tells her he would never hurt him and calls him a prehistoric nuisance after the boy runs off. "He's from the Earth stone age--a boy in captivity. A trap of his buzzes so he closes the cell door on Penny and leaves, saying something like galloping galaxies. Judy and Don walk in the darkness. Farnum arrives in full circus outfit with hat and purple jacket and all, he also has a whip which he snaps at them. Don takes out a laser pistol but Farnum calls Mort and tells Don, "Be careful my boy, he'll tear you asunder."  Don says, "That medieval armor is not match against this."  The Knight hits the pistol down. Don has his mineral hunting hammer and hits the armor with it but there is only a blast. Mort takes Don by the neck to a cell. Talking with Penny, Farnum says, "Boys---ugghhh."  Don is not a boy. Farnum tells him on his planet they have done away with growing up. Penny thought Farnum must have had lots of experience with boys unless he's a fraud, having claimed to have captured hundreds of thousands of human beings.

 

Outside the dark area, Farnum's spaceship, is the Robinson's current planet. Here, Smith tells the Robot, who seems to be malfunctioning and not able to talk correctly--his voice distorted, that the Robot is simply not cooperating. He calls him a tinplated tintabulation and tells Will that this area is a most pleasant area. There are blue weeds. Robot sounds funny and Will thinks his direction finder is off. Smith calls Robot a cantankerous clod. Smith finds a daffodil and will pick it for Will's mother to make her less mad at him. Will goes to Smith and touches him as Robot tries to pull Will back, trying to warn him. They all vanish as Will is yelling at Robot, "Let go of me! Let me go!"  Will suddenly realizes their surroundings have changed--they are in the dark of Farnum's lair, his spaceship. Will backs in Farnum who grabs him. Will yells, "Let me go!"  Farnum does but screams at the annoying top of his lungs for Mort to do his duty. Smith suggests a joust and makes a wager, his "bosom companion" the Robot against Mort. Will tells Robot to "slug him."  Farnum uses his box device to make a boxing ring light up. Robot and Mort bow to each other in the ring and Robot uses Karate. Huh? Smith holds Will close to him as they watch. When Robot seems to be winning, Will and Smith shake hands but Mort hits the Robot down into three pieces! Farnum calls them stupid Earth creatures and admits maybe one or two of his exhibits are humbug. Mort lifts his mask and inside is a glowing image, not a human at all, not a real knight. Mort is the greatest robot ever created. Farnum tells Smith and Will that they and their friends will all be in his zoo forever, "but I'll try to make you happy or break every bone in your bodies doing so!"  He snaps his whip and laughs.

 

ACT TWO             

As Will sits in the cell with Penny on the bed, he strums the guitar. Penny talks about Farnum, "It's clear he can travel anywhere in time and space."  Will wonders if that were so why didn't he bring back a real knight. He tells Penny, "I'm sure I'd just like to spend forever in a girl's room."  Penny gets annoyed, "Oh, Will, do you want to be an animal in a zoo for the rest of your life?"  They hear Don throwing things at Farnum, who promises that soon he will give each one of them their own private rooms...eh, cages as soon as he gets organized. It is impossible to trick him, he tells Don, who tried to trick him. They will be taking a trip to several galaxies. Will tells Penny, "Get him in here."   Penny asks Farnum for a strawberry so he opens the door, "I'd like a strawberry."   Although artichokes are difficult, he summons up a strawberry and makes Penny close her eyes and feeds her one. The next one is yellow and she opens her eyes. While Penny stalls Farnum with this, Will takes something (the needle in the record player) and puts it in the door lock to keep it from being locked when Farnum leaves. After he goes, Will and Penny run out into the dark depths of the spaceship. They run to Mrs. Whistler's cage where Will tries to get her attention by talking to her loudly. Penny suggests maybe she is hard of hearing. Will continues to try but then tries to touch her arm and when he reaches it, the arm falls off. It is a fake arm. Penny tells Will that Oggo might be able to show them the way out. Farnum goes to Smith's cabin where Mort brought in a table and food. Smith is in a robe and there are pictures on the walls, champagne, caviar, and gold pieces that emerge from a statue's mouth to a catch table. Smith puts some in his pockets. This is suitable to his life. He has pickled shrimp, pheasant underglass, and roast beef. When Will and Penny try to get Oggo to show them the way out, Will says, "I guess that prehistoric jungle of his wasn't so hot."  They think he has been living with Mr. Farnum since he was a little boy. Penny reasons with Oggo who touches her face gently. "You could come with us if you'd like,"  she tells him, sincere. Oggo picks Will to get out, Will and Penny figure since Will is smaller. Smith, in his room, finds his wrist watch is missing and when Farnum tells him it was the boy, Smith asks, "The hairy one?"  When Oggo came in with Mort, he lifted the watch off Smith. Farnum laughs, "I taught him everything he knows, that scoundrel."   Smith says, "For shame, Mr. Farnum, for shame!"  Smith thinks it awful that Farnum is corrupting the youth...or so he wants Farnum to think. Farnum taught him to steal, lie, cheat, never trust anyone. If not for Oggo, Farnum would have been ridden off some planets on a rail. Farnum admits to Smith, wondering why he hasn't guessed it by now---that there are no real humans here, no humans were ever caught by him. He keeps Oggo primitive for his own needs and reasons...part of the act, the show. Farnum calls Smith by the names Zac and then Smitty. Oggo shows Will to three psychedelic doors and Will wonders which one goes out to his spaceship the Jupiter II. Farnum gets an alarm and comes to them, pulling Will away from the doors. In the struggle, Oggo pushes Farnum but both Farnum and Will fall out one of the doors. Will and Farnum fall onto their backs onto a planet...Farnum seems knocked out but Will gets up, "Where are we? Oggo? Oggo!"

 

ACT THREE

Will helps Farnum up. Farnum's ankle hurts and he is upset with Will. Will notices the caves here are not near the Jupiter II. Farnum yells at Will, then realizes Oggo got rid of him. And Farnum laughs--only Oggo knows how to work the controls to get them back to the Farnum spaceship. Oggo goes to Smith's cell and there, Smith calls Farnum a wicked man. He tells Oggo that Farnum mistreated him and Oggo shakes his head. "You poor dear boy," Smith cons him. Smith wants to get him proper clothes and a shiny coat like a real Circus Boy. He knows what is best for all, he says to himself mostly. Oggo will cooperate with Smith, even though the boy seems to know what Smith is up to. Oggo smiles. Smith gets a whip and his own jacket. Later Judy sees Smith out and calls him over, "Dr. Smith!"  Don tells Smith to open the door. Penny, from her bars, questions Oggo who is in a new purple-pink jacket. Oggo is upset a moment about Will. But he likes the new coat. Smith calls Mort and Mort appears, does left and about face to Smith's orders. Penny and Judy yell out for Smith to let them out. Smith cracks his whip, "The show must go on!"   Penny asks, "The what?"   Smith tells them he is in charge now and they will head for a distant planet. Don yells, "Smith you open this door!"  Smith says, "You'll get out Major, when I say so, when I have collected that money!"  Judy asks what money. Smith needs Mort's help to put his mechanical misfit--the Robot--back together again. Will and Farnum wonder what door they fell out of. Will thinks it is Oggo's home time. Will says, "I guess now you can see that boys can be of some use."  Farnum knows that and tells Will that "Oggo's ten times smarter than you."  Farnum's mommy was a monster tamer, the old zoo is in his blood. Will says, "Oh," and then asks why he has to catch everything; Farnum asks him if boys catch things--snakes, lizards, and other things like bugs. Will says only to see how they live and feel, then they let them go. Farnum tells Will he has an inferior intelligence. Will says, "Yes sir."  They talk some more. Will tells Farnum he would understand if Farnum ever had a chance to be a boy, "You never were a boy, never had a chance to grow up."  Farnum is helped up by Will and looks out to he barren land outside and sees more caves from the cave he and Will are in, "This is Oggo's home."  Will tells him he has seen pictures of prehistoric Earth and this doesn't look like it. Farnum tells him that Oggo is a fake, not a real prehistoric cave boy! Farnum found Oggo on this planet and dressed him up to look like a caveboy. He taught him to lie, cheat, and steal. Farnum puts his hand on Will's shoulder, happy. Oggo can get them out. He laughs but realizes, laughing about it, that Oggo won't get them out--Oggo probably hates him. Will asks, "What kind of a planet is this?"   Farnum says, staring in shock, "I believe the life expectancy here is 45 minutes."

 

ACT FOUR

The Robot hawks Smith's show in front of the posters--see the primitive Earth people, see the renegade Robot of Mars, homo sapiens in their natural habitat. He calls and finds Oggo in the starship with the whip. The alien audience paid in jewels, emeralds, rubies, and sapphires. Penny calls out, "Let me see."  Don calls out, "Grab em Penny, grab em and wrap them around his neck."   Don tells Smith when he gets out he will slaughter him. Oggo has on the jacket over his furs. Smith gets a hat on. Aliens will see them soon and the curtain goes up soon. The dresser in the each room moves aside, behind curtains are alien beings, gawking and gaping at them. Then the curtains open and there is circus music as well as monstrous sounds from the viewing monsters outside. They see moving figures, hundreds of them it seems. Judy moves closer, "What're they?"   A fish faced monster moves close to the screen to watch her. She screams and jumps back. Smith moves to Penny's cage, telling her to move about like the polar bears and raccoons did on Earth in zoos. Penny says, "But I'm a person and they're, well, look at them!"  Monsters from VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA-DOOMSDAY ISLAND and DEADLY AMPHIBIANS as well as others are outside watching in. The Mr. Keema monster face from THE GOLDEN MAN appears, looking at them. Smith tells Penny if she moves around, later, he will give her ice cream. Penny is horrified, "Ice cream?"  Penny chastises Oggo, telling him to wipe that silly grin off his face. Robot comes and Smith tells him to get into his Renegade Robot of Mars outfit. Smith and Oggo go. Penny tells the Robot she understands about Dr. Smith and that silly boy but she implores him to help them. The Robot tells her that Smith put THE SHOW MUST GO ON onto all his memory tapes. Penny tells her to try and erase the tapes and help them even though it is against his Prime Directive, "There is no business like show business."  Penny pleads with him to try and erase his tapes. He will. Don yells and throws things around which makes the alien monster people outside laugh. Judy is horrified, "Do you know what it makes me want to do?"  She moves closer to the screen and sticks her tongue out and makes a face with her hands in her mouth, "Blaaaaa. Ohhh."  She shrinks back to Don, who tells her, "Take it easy, Judy. We all better take it easy."  Judy says, "Oh, now I now how the monkeys feel."   Smith is outside hawking, pointing at the posters. When he hawks about the Major, he tells the aliens, "See their funny faces."  Three aliens, a mother and two children a male and female, arrive. They have fangs and colorful clothing, semi bald heads and some hair on their faces. Smith gives one candy. The girl. She smiles and goes into the show.

 

Don puts a gun to Smith's head, "The show's over, Smith."   Robot has let them free, "Bring down the curtain."

Inside, Smith offers up a lot of excuses, telling Don he was doing it for the children's future! Judy has found another control box. When Don confronts Oggo about how to use it, Oggo runs off. Penny follows and Don hurries after. Oggo runs into Penny's cell room where she cries. Don arrives, "I'll handle this, Penny."  Penny cries, telling Oggo that all he wants is fun but she doesn't believe it. She grabs him and turns him around toward her, "We all love Will."  She goes on to ask him if he wants something terrible to happen to Will. Oggo nods a no to her. Then she asks if he wants something awful to happen to Mr. Farnum. Oggo smiles and nods a yes to her. Penny cries, "Do you? Really? Mr. Farnum would never really hurt you---I know he wouldn't. He told me so."  She knows Mr. Farnum can be awful and has treated Oggo awful but she goes on to tell him just because Farnum can't understand about boys doesn't mean he can't understand about men, about fathers, "Please Oggo, please help us?!"  Oggo feels Penny's face and takes off his jacket and throws it down. He smiles.

 

Farnum and Will are being attacked by a giant monster dragon dinosaur as it is breathing smoke and fire. They are in the cave hiding from it. Farnum has Will in front of him. Farnum feels trapped, closed in, suffocating. He has claustrophobia. Will tells him the air is better closer to the floor. Farnum overreacts, yelling, "Trapped! We're trapped like rats!"  Will coughs, "Well now you know how it feels, Mr. Farnum!"  They have white foam in their hair---from the dragon (?) effects of the smoke. Don is there, "Take it easy, Mr. Farnum!"  Oggo is there, also, having shown Don the way. Don goes to the entrance. Fire shoots at him from the monster outside. The dragon head (from THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF THE BROTHERS GRIM) roars and breathes fire. The fire seems puny as it fires in at Don. Don shoots a laser pistol at it. A giant lizard face gets hit (this doesn't match up to the monster dragon head that was menacing them a few moments ago). It goes. Farnum, happy, yells that it has gone. Farnum stops his self praise, "Oh Oggo, after all the horrid, stupid things I've taught you."   He realizes Oggo still came after him. He hugs the boy.

 

Later, on the Robinson's planet, in front of the Jupiter II, Farnum has Oggo, dressed up to his neck in a suit and nice jacket, say, "Good--bye, Puh-Pen-ny."  He gives her flowers. Maureen and Penny say goodbye to Mr. Farnum, who claims he has to find a new way to make a living now. When Farnum and Oggo leave, Penny asks, "Mom, do you suppose I'll ever meet a nice boy from my own neighborhood?"  Maureen laughs, "Oh goodness, I hope so, dear,"  she takes her arm around Penny's shoulder, "C'mon,"  she is going to herd her up the ramp into the spaceship when they hear and see Farnum's rocket take off overhead. As they are about to go inside, the Robot has his arms out even before they hear Smith yelling. "Smith!"  Don says as they run off to find him. He is in a tree, the strings to the parachute that is on the tree and ontop his head, tangled all over his body. We hear new goofy music. Farnum and that wretched boy threw him overboard. Farnum said that Smith is a fraud and he would not allow Smith in any kind of zoo. All laugh. Smith says, "A man of my quality. Beware Farnum! Beware!"   Everyone laughs. The Robot's arms seem to be having a problem and are out.

 

SCENES TO NEXT WEEK

Alien monsters orbit the planet in a space station. One says, "We must land on that planet. It's our lives or theirs."  John calls from a radio set up in a forest, "Please identify yourself."

 

NARRATOR: "Next week, Dr. Smith turns the Jupiter spacecraft into a hotel resort only to find that vacationing aliens threaten his entire ENTERPRISE!" 

 

Zumdish says to Smith, "Let your motto be fun,"  he pops his hand over his mouth, "Fun," pop, "Fun." Pop. The alien men make the two females move into a machine, "And now the females."  They transfer from monsters to human like women. Smith is in the jungle looking for the female, "You see, I found you. Now what do I get as my prize?"  The girl says, "Close your eyes."  Back to monster form, the alien men have Maureen, Penny, and Judy in a cave with a lava pool, "We will throw them into the lava pit, one at a time. The mother first. Come here."  Don and John run in and fight with the two. One chokes John down, his head over the lava pit.

 

"Next week, TWO WEEKS IN SPACE on LOST IN SPACE here on this channel!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO WEEKS IN SPACE

Writer: Robert Hamner

Dir: Don Richardson

 

TEASER

Judy gets lunch ready and Penny says it is fun to cook over an open fire. Maureen laments that Will couldn't come-he would have liked this. They are on a tropical jungle planet, forests, woods, trees, jungle growth but calm and peaceful too. John tells Maureen that someone had to watch over Dr. Smith. Maureen asks if Smith wasn't capable. Don makes a comment--Smith cannot even look after himself. Maureen laughs, "Oh, oh."   John tells a complaining Maureen (who thinks the two men are working too much) that the girls, the scenery and she are all extra, welcome added attractions. They have tents set up. They are here to work on a radar station. Suddenly, Don receives a Class B7 intergalactic SS. John answers, "This is John Robinson from the Earth ship Jupiter 2."  The answer comes from what claims to be Earth Ship Venus 5. They want the family to activate a landing beacon. John, instead, tells Don to activate the radiation shield, a forcefield of some kind to keep out the aliens, which is what John believes they are. He won't let them land, telling his wife that he thinks they are some renegade posing as an Earth ship. The aliens insist they will explain when they land but John lets them know that he knows they are not an Earthship. The protective shield strains but keeps the aliens from landing. In a massive space station sized ship, two aliens sit at a console and a window overlooking space and the planet. One tells the other to put the ship on automatic controls. "We must land on that planet--it's our lives or their's. There must be a way to get through their defenses."  The aliens get up and the audience can see they are human shaped but their faces and hands are very alien, with extensions on their heads and horrid skin!

 

7-6-5-4-3-2-1-

 

ACT ONE

Robot and Will listen to space static--what they call music. The titles appear over movement, no freeze frame. We see trees and leaves outside the window at the viewport which is where the Robot and Will are--at the console. Smith arrives and sarcastically asks if they are still listening to the intergalactic hit parade. Will tells him if you listen hard enough, it does sorta sound like music. The Robot tells Smith that some culture is required to keep his tapes in balance. Smith calls him an ignominious ignoramus. The aliens raise an antenna and look at a TV screen: on it they see the Jupiter II from above in the forest on the planet's surface. MXR, the leader, tells QZW to bring up the females, Non and Tat. The female monster aliens climb up from a ladder below and stand with their hands out, at attention. They have computations on Earth people components and run them on a screen of a computer. They dial in the male Earthling form. "Strange but I suppose functional."   They dial in the female. "Not much improvement."  The image projector is turned off. Then the matter transformer is turned on. A light goes on in the background and makes the two alien men become like Earth men. NOTE: The materialization effects are the worst in this episode--they don't match and one can tell the camera was shut off and turned on again later after the makeup and masks were taken off--perhaps the darkness of the set made it so bad but this episode in this scene is the worst Irwin Allen effect on any of his shows, not just on LOST IN SPACE. QZW seems short and has a cleft in his chin. "Ugly but I suppose practical."  "I kinda like it,"  the girl says. "Your opinion was not requested."  The men make the females go below and prepare for landing. The way they make themselves look like Earthlings...electromagnetic transference is good only in the light of daytime. When the moons come up, they will revert. They need only the time to destroy the outpost of humans here, test the atmosphere for 24 hours. They move to a computer bank and open it. Inside is dark faced humanoid in the shadows. He was on this ship when the criminals stole it. Some of this dialog looks and sounds dubbed. The shorter alien scans the new man--whom the two aliens call him a life form. His name is Zumdish and he tells them what they need to hear. The tall alien, the leader, puts a device on Mr. Zumdish's head and makes him forget that they forcibly took this spaceship after the deteronium bank robbery. They make Zumdish think he is a tour director taking them on a peaceful vacation, an intergalactic cruise. The leader snaps his fingers and Zumdish comes out of it. He promised them a two week vacation and they have just been floating around in space. Robot, Will, and Smith get an ionic direction probe, a radio beam trying to reach their radio reception. Will tells Smith, "Someone's in trouble."   Smith wants to ignore it, knowing that there are some terrible people wanting to come down here. NOTE: FOR ONCE, HE'S RIGHT!!! Will calls. Through the window we see trees outside.

 

The spacestation is an upsidedown view of the alien ship in CONDEMNED OF SPACE. Zumdish tells them via the radio that he is from Fun Tours Limited and wants to show his people, "Fun, fun, fun."   Will tells Zumdish that he must have them mixed up with somebody else. Smith gets an idea, "Who is more fun than we?"  This planet is a veritable paradise and he thinks the aliens must have valuables they would pay to him. Smith asks them to pay the going rate. Will gets irate, thinking about the others, "We can't just rent out their rooms!"   Smith says, "We are at the beginning of a huge and lucrative new ENTERPRISE."   Smith calls this time the height of the season and increases the rates. Zumdish tells him his tourists have been saving all year for this trip. Smith tells Zumdish this planet is a paradise with pleasant meadows in four different colors, lava beds for mineral baths, fantastic underground caves, and marvelous night clubs, four different suns for the really complete sun tan. Smith activates the landing beam. Zumdish tells the tall alien man they are ready to land and have, "Fun! Fun! Fun!"  Zumdish follows each fun with his popping sound as he places his hand over his mouth and, well, pops it. As Zumdish moves off, the two alien men smile.

 

ACT TWO 

Will and Robot lament that they didn't get to vote on this idea and what jobs they took. Smith calls Robot a ninny, he doesn't get to vote and Will cannot vote until he is 21. Smith asks if Will will cooperate. Will says, "Welll, I guess so."   Smith's motto, "A Happy Guest is a Paying Guest."   A golf cart lands after a blast of sparks. YES, I KNOW IT'S REALLY GOOFY. Smith says, "I knew you at once."  He recalls Zumdish is from the Intergalactic Department Store. Zumdish finds his laundry list. This is supposed to be a resort hotel. Smith calls this the flagship of his business. There are scenery in four different colors, in 8 possibly, hot lava pools, meteor riding, rocket testing, two moons. The Robot has set up bad mitten. Smith calls him a booby. Smith says, "This is the gayest resort you've ever found."   Zumdish asks if there is a money back guarantee. He wear a carnation. Zumdish tells him this will be a trial vacation. Will, the bell boy, comes out. Zumdish does more fun, fun, fun saying. The Jupiter II is called Happy Acres and a sign is over the doorway. We hear A DAY AT THE ZOO music. Will drops a bowling ball; Smith puts the bag Will drops in Will's mouth. Smith tells Will he is full. He is to take these to D12---Judy's room. Smith tells him to be careful, they are not insured. The alien girl hits the shuttlecock onto Smith's head as she plays bad mitten. In her hair are three rings.

 

Night: Will is asleep against the cash register which Smith set up in the control room along with a large counter. He hits it by mistake. Smith recounts the 1900 receipts (?), 2000 cubics of detronium. Will is very tired. He has put the sports equipment away. Smith runs down a list of Will's duties already finished. He goes on, "Are all the hotel grounds cleaned and sparkling, ready for the gay activities of tomorrow?"   Will has taken care of breakfast and put water in the fruit juice and Smith tells Will that no one is to get seconds. "A happy guest is a hungry guest."   Robot says, "A happy guest is a tired Robot."

 

The alien girl waves a cloth to someone outside, "See you soon."  We hear COLLISION OF PLANETS music--the music of seduction from the blond girl in that episode. Smith tells her, "I would have thought you'd be fast asleep by now, all tired from your gay round of activities here at Happy Acres."  The two alien men look in through the round window. The girl tells Smith he was sweet at the pool this afternoon. Smith eyes her large ring and tells her it sparks romance. She has big round ear rings. Smith tells her he wants to be just like her and kisses her ring, not her face as she expected. Smith walks off and hits the wall with the ladder. Then he exits through the hall with the square. The girl laughs at him. She calls him an old fool to the others, the men. With the wreckage they will leave in space and the body of the old fool, Space Patrol will think they died. The matter transformation ring will make Smith look like them. "Once he has that ring on his finger---he'll be just like one of us,"  the tall leader tell her. She smiles.

 

ACT THREE

One moon comes up and there are clouds over the mountains. There is howling and maybe we hear wolves. Huh? The aliens change in their beds...I mean they transform back into the alien faced monster men they are after a glow. We hear BLAST OFF music. We see golf clubs. There are chairs by the exit of the Jupiter II but on the outside. Smith is in his clothes in bed, dreaming of when he will be rich as the first intergalactic innkeeper. Will, in his clothes, is asleep in the same cabin as Smith. Smith hears footsteps and goes to the Robot just after the aliens left. The leader had stopped the shorter one from hitting the Robot, who was so tired, he didn't know the aliens were there. Smith wakes the Robot up as he was resting his computer tapes. Smith heard something, he tells Robot, and he moves to the Danger Radiation Door. Robot tells him his micro mechanisms are sleeping through everything. That is what happens when two are doing the work of three. Robot tells him his computers need 8 hours rest. The aliens hide in the Space Pod Bay. Smith is sure people are trying to sneak in, knowing for sure the rest of the galaxy has heard about Happy Acres. Robot complains he is the bellman, lifeguard, golf pro, waiter, room service, social director, night watch man, badminton instructor...he and Smith argue. Smith calls him a sententious sloth. Robot is also the elevator operator. The aliens run outside as Smith and the Robot ride up on the elevator. Smith calls Robot a pitiable pipsqueak. When Smith finally allows Robot to go back to rest, Robot tells him, "My micromechanisms, my computer tapes and I thank you."   Smith fools with the register. Goofy parts ensue.

 

Smith hurts his middle finger. He goes outside the door. From a rock the alien men watch him with monster faces. MY FRIEND MR. NOBODY music. The alien men move to finish Smith but the sun rises and they turn back into their human forms. They figure the sun's rays do this but they will revert when the moons are high. They don't have to destroy the humans, "...at least not yet."

 

DOES THIS MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE?

 

Morning: Smith lights Zumdish's cigarette and throws the match which almost burns him. Zumdish complains of a lumpy mattress, lumpy cereal which was as lumpy as the mattress. Smith lets Zumdish put his ashes in his hand and when he tries to cheer Zumdish up, he pops his hand over his mouth to make that popping sound after saying, "Fun! Fun! Fun!"  This makes Smith pop the ashes into his mouth. Zumdish tells Smith there is no accounting for taste when Smith tells him that the four aliens seem to be having a wonderful time. Zumdish puts his cigarette out in Smith's hand, burning it. Robot and Will come out with clubs which are plastic. Will was busy in the galley, thus is late. Smith helps Will---by taking one golf club off his hands and leaving with it. Will frowns, "Thanks a lot!" 

 

Later, the girl is following Smith in the forest. COLL MUSIC again. Smith finds her and she puts the ring on Smith's finger, then leaves, blowing kisses. Smith takes out an eyeglass and examines it.

 

Even later, Smith sees the Robot who was giving badminton instruction all morning after serving breakfast. Smith will let him rest...for five minutes. Robot is also the master chef and must serve lunch now! Smith finds a flower and wants to make Robot chief gardener too. Smith smells it after Robot goes. A shuttlecock its his head and he falls. It is the girl practicing archery. We hear goofball music. THIS SHOW REALLY SUCKS BY NOW. This episode has to be the worst of the third seasoners. It really is like a very bad sitcom!

 

ACT FOUR                      

We see the Moon rise---the Earth moon in stock footage! Smith is at the register and wakes Robot up to compute the sales. Robot does so from 10,000 alien cubics. Smith plans a water polo tournament. We hear a wolf howl. The aliens are up and the test period is over--they can survive in this atmosphere The leader says, "And now we must destroy the humans."  Smith tells Robot the tournament will be held at the hot lava pool but the Robot tells him the ball will melt. Smith goes outside and howls, then sings for the girl. He feels strange. There is a glow and he turns into the alien with claws and there are howls which seem dubbed over Smith. The alien girl calls and laughs. It is all very creepy. The alien girl comes to Smith and he sees her for the first time as the monster that she really is. He yells, "Please don't--no!"  

 

Upstairs in the control room: "Danger! Danger!"  In the spaceship, the alien men come out of the hallway and attack the Robot, one looks for his power pack and gets it out, "I've got!"

 

Will hears something and gets up out of bed. He puts his boots on. The alien men go down to the lower deck (huh? Why? Why not have killed those on the lower deck first?). Before he leaves the cabin, Will sees the elevator coming down and hides in the room, hiding in the top of the closet, climbing up there. The alien men come in and search the room but don't find Will, even though they look in the closet. After they go, Will moves a box out of the way and comes down.

 

In the day time, Smith turns normal and howls, feeling his throat is furry. What? Why did he turn normal? Why, if he did, is he still howling? Why does his throat feel furry? Are the aliens and their ring to make him like them, some sort of alien werewolf thing? Dough. We never find out. The Chariot comes and stops. Smith runs to it and the others get out. He tells him, "Hideous monster---they're taking over Happy Acres...I mean monster have taken over the Jupiter II!"  He lies to all their questions. Judy and Penny kneel in the Chariot, listening. John and Don go on ahead with Smith who protests, "But those monsters will kill us all!"  As they go, John and Don ask about all the sports equipment lying about. Smith stalls, pretending not to see it. He talks about his eating peanut butter and salami! John tells him, "...and this better not be one your hairbrain schemes!"  They move on but Smith runs off.

 

Later, inside, Will tells John and Don about the experience. "They were terrible, Dad, really horrible looking creatures."  He apologizes, telling John that it sounded like a fun idea at first. John doesn't think it is his fault and tells him so. John asks the Robot to scan for alien monsters. Zumdish runs in and calls Prof. Robinson, telling him he made a horrible mistake. He heard the fight with the Robot and hid. He tells them the aliens are space robbers from the Justice of Intergalactic Tribunal. They are hunting for any humans they may find to destroy them, Zumdish hid so he survived. John says, "Well, they'll find Maureen and the girls!"   The two men, Don and John, run out. Zumdish tells Will he is going below.

 

Judy and Penny have guns and are patrolling the area around Chariot. Maureen is closer to the car. Judy asks Mom how long they have to stay in the spot they are at near Chariot. Maureen says, "Until your father comes back for us."  Smith comes running; Maureen asks him about all the monsters he was complaining about. He says, "Monster, madam, there are no monsters."  The alien men grab Judy and Penny from behind as well as Maureen and grab their guns. Smith faints. Maureen asks, "Who're you? What do you want?"  The men take the three women. John and Don get Smith up. Don finds footprints and he and John follow. Smith says, "Oh woe is me--aback and alas."

The aliens take the girls to a lava pit cave and make them go up a ridge. The lead alien says, "We destroy them in the lava pit, one at a time, the mother first. Come here!"  Just as they move to take Maureen, John and Don rush in and fight them. John pushes the aliens and they fall. Don is hit by one with a punch. John throws the laser rifle--huh? Maybe he doesn't want the aliens to get the rifle. John pulls the gun from the aliens and throws the laser rifles the aliens took from the girls into the pit? He is hit and thrown, then choked over the pit. Maureen watches, leaning in, helpless, as usual. Don was punched down and the alien that hit him stumbled. There are kicks and punches. The aliens throw large rocks at John. John gets a laser pistol out and shoots the aliens who vanish in a pop. DERELICT easy listening music. Don recovers and the girls come down and greet the men. Judy even gets to touch Don's chest!

 

Later, Will takes the luggage out to the golf cart. Smith says goodbye to the girls. Zumdish is happy the entire affair could be resolved with such despatch. He and Smith talk...and talk. This is  a good place, Zumdish claims and he wants to make it a regular stop for Fun Tours. Smith tells him they are not insured. Zumdish tells him he should insure the place with his insurance company. The main girl says goodbye to Smith, she will be going many galaxies away and gives him a keepsake----the ring which he secretly tries to show Robot, asking him what it is worth, "Shhhh."  Robot tells him 1.79 and can be bought in any five and dime store but "there is more to it than meets the eye."   Smith only wanted the immediate cash value. THERE WERE GIANTS music. He gives it back to the girl who says, "I'll always remember you."  Smith says, "Naturally."   The girl laughs and so does Smith. They say goodbye. The girl goes to the cart, which takes off. New music here? ZOO music now. On the ramp, John confronts Smith, telling him that he is taking the others on a  vacation and Smith is doing to provide the Happy Acres accommodations as their big galactic innkeeper---the time and money are on the house. Smith looks up as John leaves, "I shall certainly miss that young woman."  The shuttlecock comes down and hits Smith on the head. Smith falls. Robot laughs as Smith sits up.       

 

"Next week, an alien bounty hunter terrorizes the space family Robinson when a mysterious tomb they had discovered thaws and releases a beautiful ice princess!" 

 

"Next week, chilling adventure in the episode entitled CASTLES IN SPACE on LOST IN SPACE on this channel!" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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