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LOST IN SPACE quotes part one


Chase - Posted on 21 June 2009

THE RELUCTANT STOWAWAY

Maureen: Dr. Smith, you shouldn't be here at all 

 

Smith: Precisely the point I've been trying to make without much success I might add. 

 

John: Incredible, not one constellation you can recognize. Where are we? 

 

Will: Am I still in quarantine?

 

GENERAL AT ALPHA CONTROL: Mr. President status control on Jupiter II. As of this moment, the spacecraft has passed the limits of our galaxy--it's presumed to be hopelessly LOST IN SPACE."

 

THE DERELICT

 

TV MAN: As of this moment, 18 hundred hours October 21st 1997, all efforts to restore communication with Jupiter II and America's first space family have been unsuccessful. The last report from the Jupiter II's automatic systems before all communication ceased indicate that extensive damage may have been caused by premature activation of the spaceship's environmental control robot. It is now believed that the tragic fate of the Jupiter II and its occupants may well be the result of sabotage on the part of an agent from a foreign power.

 

Judy: I can't sleep. Not until we know something.

Don: Then you're going to be getting pretty sleepy.

 

John: Well if those are orbits, there's a whole lot of traffic out there.

     

Will: My parents are on the Jupiter II spaceship and my sisters with Major West--he's our pilot and Dr. Smith, here, well, he just seemed to be aboard when we lifted off.

 

Don: Maureen, we've had serious control trouble FOR SOME TIME--unless we get outside and make exterior repairs, well, we could be in even worse trouble.

 

ISLAND IN THE SKY

Smith: Now you will fire all rockets and we shall leave this vale of tears and head back to Earth.

 

Don: They say any landing you can walk away from is a good one.

 


THERE WERE GIANTS IN THE EARTH

Maureen: You take your hands off him. 

Smith: My dear Madam. 

Maureen: Don't you dear Madam me. Turning that thing loose on him.

 

John: Now we know nothing of whatever life forms may exist on this planet. We only know that we must depend on ourselves for survival. So starting tomorrow we're going to turn this immediate area into a self sufficient community and that means everyone is going to have his job to do and that means everyone, do you understand, Dr. Smith? 

 

John: Living cells neither animal nor vegetable but combining      characteristics of each. 

 

Don: Then the soil of this planet contains a parasite requiring another life form in order to reach maturity. 

 

John: That or metamorphosis... a constant changing sequence of life forms starting with some insignificant life cell in the soil and ending who knows where.  

 

Smith: Vegetation wise at least, we are on a very hostile planet.

 

THE HUNGRY SEA

 

Smith: There's a lot more human in you than I thought. No planet can have an orbit like this.

 

John: Smith, this is Robinson. Now why on Earth should we believe you? 

 

Smith: May I remind you my dear sir, that we are no longer on Earth! 

 

John: Oh, that's very clever. 

 

John: We found lots of this frozen solid in the ground.  

Maureen: It looks as though it's been charred. 

John: It has.  

Maureen: Burned and then frozen--why that doesn't make sense, does  it? 

John: Darling, very little on this planet makes sense...by Earth's      standard

 

John: I don't what got into him.

Maureen: It's bound to happen to all of us. Here on this hostile   planet with danger everywhere and fighting for our lives every   moment.  

 

WELCOME STRANGER

 

Hapgood: ...finding things that you know can't exist but do--happenings that'll put your heart up your mouth and your blood up your toes, living things that breath fire and swim in ice.

 

John: Well, not knowing how long we can last here or if we can ever get the Jupiter to fly again--they deserve something more than that. 

 

Smith: I didn't know our robot had one of these.

 

Hapgood: Nothing in space has ever welcomed me and I'm sure it's been the same with you folks.

 

Hapgood: It's too bad you didn't think about them before finding out that space doesn't take too kindly to family outings.

 

MY FRIEND, MR NOBODY

Smith: Say it. Say it. Diamond. Diamond. Diamond. Diamonds.

 

Penny: Mother, do you think just a place could think and talk...well, like here, maybe?

 

Maureen: Well, maybe.

 

Penny: I asked daddy if it was only people who could have brains and he said very few of them do. 

 

Maureen: Well, darling, I'm sure that there are all sorts of mysterious forces that we don't understand, even forces with far more intelligence than we have.

 

Penny: You mean like a rainbow could have feelings or the moon maybe?

 

Maureen: Why certainly, I think so.

 

Penny: Mother, I'm scared--if a thing can like you, it can get mad at you, too.

 

John: It's like a new Milky Way.

 

Penny: Welp, caterpillars can turn into butterflies, can't they?

 

Maureen: Oh, John, look, just look."

 

Nobody says, "Goodbye, Penny. Goodbye Penny."

Penny says, "Goodbye, Mr. Nobody."

Nobody repeats, "Goodbye. Goodbye."

 

INVADERS OF THE FIFTH DIMENSION

Smith: I tried to save them to make up for the shameful, vile, infamous things I've done. 

 

Will: You weren't so bad, honest.

 

The Robot: I detect an alien presence. 

Maureen: Alien? 

The Robot: ON THIS PLANET, WE ARE THE ALIENS. 

Maureen: says, Touche. 

 

The alien: Love, what is it? Can you eat it? What does it do? except profault (?) the clarity of the brain.                                

On the screen we and they see Maureen say, "Will!"

 

The alien: Extraordinary--it seems to be a form of madness common to all of them.

 

Will: I can't help feeling the way that I do.

 

Alien: What primitive, barbaric creatures you are. On your own planet yo slaughter each other unceasingly, all in the name of love.

 

Will: At least we keep trying to get better--we don't go around turning people into machines.

 

Maureen: What happened?

Will: Welp, there were these guys and they didn't have any bodies  or mouths. 

Maureen: No bodies?!  

Will: No, and they tried to take my brain. 

Maureen: Your brain?! 

Will: Yeah. 

John: Now what would they want with your brain? 

Will: I dunno. 

 

THE OASIS

Don: In that case, until we know which way this crazy planet's going to jump, I suggest we cut the water rations in half now.

 

Don: That's probably how you used to sneak gas out of cars when you      were a teenager. 

Smith: I was never a teenager in your sense of the word, Major. Don: I hope not, cause I'd owe all of em an apology if you were.

 

Smith: Oh, shut up. 

Robot: That does not compute.

 

Judy: He's out there somewhere--maybe dying.

 

Maureen: Well, there's nothing we can do about it now, Judy. I wish          there were.                     

Judy: I can't forgive myself for being so unkind to him.

Maureen: Well, I don't like to speak ill of him but he wasn't               always very likeable you know.

Judy: Only this morning I let him know how I felt about him, using  up our drinking water. I know I hurt his feelings.

Maureen: Well, that's not important now, dear.

Judy: Oh, I wish there was some way of letting him know how sorry  I am.

 

Penny: Dr. Smith and this robot must have had a very good                 understanding.

Will: I guess so. Dr. Smith was a whiz at getting the Robot to do  things for him--he even got him to play my guitar once (THE       HUNGRY SEA into WELCOME STRANGER cliffhanger). Oh, I know he     got the Robot to do some bad things once in awhile...but they  don't seem so bad now as they did then---I wouldn't mind if     he came back and tried some thing bad again---just as long as    he came back.

 

Back to Judy and Maureen:

Judy: I never thought I'd be saying this--but you know, mother, I  miss him, I really miss him.

Maureen (staring off into the desert): Well, so do I. I keep         looking toward the door of his cabin expecting him to come       marching out with a long list of grievances--storming at us      because we're so incompetent, then stomping off in a huff      because we don't pay any attention to him. You know I read        somewhere once that people like Dr. Smith are called            injustice collectors...most of them are very nice when             they're not collecting. (pause) We'll find him.

 

Penny: You look so beautiful up there, sky. But you'd look even more beautiful if you were all dark with clouds and rain was falling and filling the lakes and rivers and the streams....not until we find Dr. Smith though.

 

Dr. Solar's picture

"you noxious ninny!!"

"you cursed clutter of clink!!

"OH DEAR!!!"

"William!"

"WILLIAM!!!"

"Oh the pain!!! Oh the pain!!!"

"we're doomed!! DOOMED!!!!!!!

"let me assure you, i'm the most trustworthy soul in the world, ask anybody........"

"have no fear! smith is here!!"

"silence you mental midget!!"

"do you know how delicate my back is!?"

"who knows what dreadfull creatures inhabet the reaches of this galaxy!"

Man Of The Atom

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